Thursday, December 11, 2014

Just Say No to Christmas Crack- Hallmark Channel

The following is a public service announcement.

Every year my holiday scheduled is packed with parties, shopping trips and scrubbing the house before the family comes over. And that’s not including fitting in time to write as well. Yet every year I find myself powerless in resisting the holiday time-suck that is the Christmas movie season on the Hallmark and Lifetime channels.

I don’t know how it happens. One minute I’m wrapping presents and then WHAM! I’m over an hour into the latest syrupy-sweet Cameron Mathison spectacle. It’s crazy, and I feel as if I must warn you of this phenomenon and how it grips you in its sparkly, jolly claws.

Now many will make the argument that these movies are formulaic. Why watch if you already know what’s going to happen? To which I say, “Duh!” That’s why we like them. We know the hero or heroine will meet someone who challenges the way they see the world, they’ll have to overcome an obstacle, a misunderstanding of some kind will occur, but in the end all will work out well because these people will realize they are stronger together than they are apart. Sounds familiar? It should. But we as consumers want the emotional ride with the safety net of knowing there will be a happily ever after. We want the pretty and the ho-ho-ho, and the sad and the happy. And want it over and over again.

This year one of the movies that snagged me mid-yuletiding was The Road to Christmas with Clark Gregg and Jennifer Grey. The movie had potential, but they made Grey’s character so unlikable I kept thinking she was Hydra. And then there was the Nine Lives of Christmas. Three words- Brandon Routh, Firefighter. J

Paul or Cody? As if there's a doubt.
But the one movie I rant about all of the time is The Christmas Card. Why? Because they think it's even a possibility that Faith will choose Paul over Cody.

Really!? Really?!? Hmm, whiny, selfish, milk-toast Paul or sweet, hard-working, dreamy Cody? No contest! And every time that sappy little town sucks me in, I want to scream at the screen for Faith to jump on that motorcycle, ride into the sunset, then ride that man into the ground. I also want Ed Asner’s house.

And do you know who else’s house I want? Candace Cameron Bure’s in Christmas Under Wraps, and Josh Hopkin’s  in 12 Men of Christmas. Yes, I do love a well-constructed log cabin, and they have the best ones in these Christmas movies.

So take heed my friends. If you have anything, and I mean any tiny thing you wish to accomplish this month, stay away from the Hallmark and Lifetime Channels.  But… if you do happen to get pulled into the red and green twinkle light abyss, tell me which movie is your favorite.

Till next time!

Anna- The Super Diva
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  1. lol, I started watching Christmas Under Wraps, and the next thing I knew I sat through 3 movies and then it was bed time

  2. I DVR'd several Christmas movies and had a movie fest. A new favorite is Angels Sing.