Decadent Divas: Sex Appeal What is Sexy to You

Sex Appeal What is Sexy to You

I have heard it said that attitude is everything. In my opinion it is the biggest part of the package. Sex appeal only works when you're able to embrace your appearance for all it is and still love yourself. Being attractive is about more than having a great physique. I think it's also about how you interact with people. Think about attractive people you've known who have lacked personality, and you'll realize rather quickly that good luck in the gene pool is definitely not what sex appeal is all about. We all have flaws. It's what makes us unique and builds character. Perfect isn't always what it seems. People will notice what you choose to highlight for them. If you have a bad attitude, or are self-absorbed, it will show through.

There are many facets to beauty. There is the outward appearance which never lasts and the inner beauty that I think is most appealing. It is the part of us that never fades if we love our self. Charisma, magnetism and confidence are far more sexy and appealing to me than a stereo typically "beautiful" person with a nasty attitude. I find it interesting that the media continually bombards and obsesses over body shape and facial beauty. Beauty in my opinion comes in all shapes and sizes. Worrying about what others think about you is the antithesis of sex appeal, because it causes you to allow other people's judgment of you to have too much power over how you feel about yourself. Sex appeal only works when you're able to embrace your appearance for all it is and still love yourself, and project the best of you while downplaying anything that you're not so enthusiastic about. Remember this about those supposed faults you have, nobody else magnifies your flaws the way you do, so the sooner you cease worrying about it, the better you will feel about yourself.

I believe body image and sexual identity are very closely entwined with each other. If you're going to ask your lover to turn off the lights every time you make love just because you're concerned about what you look like naked, you're going to feel inhibited. When you feel good about yourself and believe in your own worth, it shows. This is appealing because people feel instantly at ease with you, as they sense they don't have to reassure you or tiptoe around you. So relax, be comfortable in your own skin, and let your confidence shine through. Tell yourself that you're beautiful inside and out, a wonderful person to know, and think of all the great reasons why people will like you for you. Confidence is the most important source of sex appeal, so if yours is on the down low, it's an ideal time to improve it. I have read several books where the heroine was not the skinniest or the prettiest, but she did have personality and charm. She was the every day woman who goes through life with its ups and downs. Gains a few pounds because life get's in the way or maybe she's struggled with her weight. Is she beautiful? Absolutely. She is also a character that I can relate to. If the female character in a book is always perfect in both personality and physical appearance, it tends to get old. I like a character with grit. She's lived life, has a personality and isn't perfect physically. Why? Because that's the real world. Yes, I want to escape when I read a story, but I also have to relate to my characters.

I recently read several novels where the authors did this with both the heroine and the protagonist. They were not perfect genetically on the outside, but the character's inner strength seemed to evolve their outer beauty and make them more appealing in the end. I found myself riveted to the story because of this aspect. Now, I'm not going to lie. I do like reading about a story with a hunky powerful male lead. However, his physical beauty cannot overshadow all other aspects about him or I will lose interest. He needs to grow and have faults, even some scars or something either physical or emotional that he needs to overcome to engage me.

What are your thoughts on this subject? Do you agree or disagree with my take? I would love to hear from you.

Decadently yours
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Erin Simone, Author