A Delicate Subject

Sometimes there’s a story that’s simply screaming to be written. 

Characters weep and wail making it impossible to concentrate on anything else until their tale is done. Shari is that kind of character. If Just One Person (The Suicide of Shari Jensen) is that kind of story.

I started working on this several years ago and played with it off and on. I had no real intention of finishing it. I had no real intention of publishing it. It was raw, ugly, depressing. I didn’t think anyone would want to read it. It’s not pretty and there’s no happy ending. But earlier this year I met a young woman in her 20s. We’ll call her Lisa. Lisa is beautiful. Smart. Talented. She’s got a loving family and a devoted, supportive boyfriend. Her entire life is ahead of her. And yet, she’s already damaged. Bruised. Battered. Depressed. See, Lisa suffered a trauma that’s scarred her. The nightmare will never go away, but she’s learning to deal with it. She’s learning to live her life in spite of these battle wounds. She’s moving forward a little more every day. Her story isn’t unique. It’s a story far too many women could tell. I’ve heard it before. Hell, I’ve lived it myself. So, why did it touch me?

I don’t know the answer to that question. Perhaps it’s Lisa’s spirit, her determination. Maybe it’s the optimism of twenty-somethings. Or maybe, just maybe, it was simply time for me to give Shari her platform. All I can say for sure is I was absolutely compelled to finish this book. My muse stood behind me every day until I got it done. My muse didn’t care that the story made me cry. It didn’t care that I began to question everything I thought I knew about my friends. Were they feeling this way? How many of my friends felt this hopeless? How many had thought about ending their lives? Was I a good friend or was I guilty of letting my friendships go stale?

Suicide isn’t a romantic topic. It’s not fun. It’s not comfortable. It’s not something that people want to sit around and discuss. Yet, it’s the fourth leading cause of death among 35-54 year olds in the U.S. Shouldn’t we talk about it? Shouldn’t we at least take a good hard look at our friends and family? Social media is becoming the main form of communication for many lonely people, but it can’t replace human interaction. It can’t replace a hug or a warm arm around a drooping shoulder. If this sounds personal, it is. I know too many women who struggle with depression and I’ve heard too many sad stories to count. Being a good friend can’t prevent every suicide or make depression go away. However, it’s my hope that by writing this book I can shed some light on this terrible disease. I hope I can get people talking. If people are talking about it, maybe they’ll see the signs before it’s too late.

What can you do?

Show your friends they matter to you.  Sometimes, it’s only an extra phone call or a promise kept that makes the difference. Listen when they need to talk. Urge them to get help from a counselor or other mental health professional. If they’re threatening to kill themselves imminently, don’t leave them alone. Take them to an emergency room or clinic and stay until they’re safe. Contact the resources listed below for information on risk factors, warning signs, and avenues for support and assistance.

It takes just one person to make a difference.

Just one person to save a life.

Just one person to heal a wounded spirit.

Will you be that one person?

Resources:

If you’re a veteran, or know one who’s considering suicide, please call the Veteran’s Crisis Line at 1-800-272-8255 24 hours a day, seven days a week, 365 days a year. Press 1 to talk to someone. You can also chat online at VeteransCrisisLine.net/Chat or send a text to 838255. Help is out there! Please take that final step to reach it.

If you or someone you know needs help, call 1-800-273-8255 for the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. You can also text HOME to 741-741 for free, 24-hour support from the Crisis Text Line. Outside of the U.S., please visit the International Association for Suicide Prevention for a database of resources.

There are too many online sites to list here. A quick internet search will bring up pages of forums, support groups, and other sites dedicated to preventing suicide and supporting both victims and family members.

If you’re concerned about someone, get educated and take action NOW!

Here's the blurb and content warning. Please heed the content warning. This book isn’t for everyone.

It didn’t happen overnight. My downward spiral started years ago. Once upon a time, I was happy and young and pretty. I had my whole life ahead of me and a heart full of bouncing optimism that kept me smiling and cheerful. That was 20 years ago though. Things have changed. Now?

I’m pissed off at everything and everyone.

The anger’s building and I can’t turn it off.

It’s only a matter of time before I unleash it on someone who doesn’t deserve it.

So lately, I’m thinking more and more about cashing out before I get any more twisted and bitter. I really want my friends and family to remember me with some love in their hearts. If I open my mouth and say what I feel, they’ll never look at me the same way again.

My suicide will be hard for them to understand, though I’m not convinced it will bother them for too long.

And at this point in my depression, I don’t care.

I’m going through the motions. Trying to get through each day with my sanity and liver intact. Money’s tight so the liver’s got a good chance of staying healthy since I can’t afford scotch anymore. Sanity? Well, now. That’s another thing entirely.

So, this is me. Shari Jensen.

Shari Jensen could be your sister, your mother, or your best friend. She’s everyone and no one. She’s an ordinary woman suffering from depression. She’s middle-aged and divorced. She has a dysfunctional family and forgetful friends. She appears strong, but deep down inside, she’s screaming for help.

Her story is hard to read, but it’s a reminder that even apparently strong, successful women can feel lost and alone behind the mask they wear for the world. It’s a reminder that just one person can make the difference between life and death.

Content warning: This story contains a first person, brutally honest expression of depression and despair, as well as a graphic depiction of a suicide.

Universal Buy Link

Laurie Olerich is an ex-military, adopted Texan, bourbon swilling romantic fantasy novelist. Her action packed urban fantasy and paranormal romance novels are inspired by her thirst for exploration of the metaphysical and occult. She is an avid world traveler, always delving deeper into her research of demonology, old cemeteries, and otherwise creepy places. 

Laurie's Website        Laurie's Facebook Page       Laurie's Pinterest           Laurie's Twitter